My eye keeps twitching and i'm finding it hard to do things today, i think it's because i'm tired. I've had an idea on making a Christmas CF bracelet which would cost more but would be great as a gift for people's mum's, friends or sister's, it's more of a girlie bracelet with the rosebuds and a butterfly charm and light and dark purple beads . I posted something on the CF forum about it and so far there are a few who are interested in them.
Today has been a day of deep thinking for me, this blog seems to help as it's like talking to a counsellor without them talking back of course but it's a good way of learning about yourself and your feelings.
I have suffered years of self doubt and always been very shy so I to find things difficult to talk about plus eating disorders are frowned apon. I remember my Dad once saying he couldn't do with people like that, when we were talking about the anorexia, it hurt me so much it has stayed in my mind for ages.
I do look back and think , you dozy moo why are you like this? if i knew i wouldn't be like it but one thing was having a relationship where all I got was a bunch in the gob every time I looked up or even spoke to someone didn't help.
I have a lot of things that have happened to me that were a lot worse by this monster but I won't go into that. I do wish I wasn't diabetic then the eating disorder wouldn't have distroyed my sight, which is why i'm loosing it now. I can't tell you how important it is to keep good control on your diabetes. I don't like having CF or diabetes but these things have made me the person i am today, a bit dizzy at times but very loving and kind to those around me, all i ever wanted was to have a mum and Dad who loved me and showed it but i didn't get that either, I'm like most human's and crave that love everyone wants from friends and family, sadly we don't all get that do we.