Having a fat weeble day today, which isn't good for people who have anorexia. So to keep my mind off " that" I'm writing on here.
I've had some lovely feed back from dear friends which has boosted me up no end, the power of friends keeps me going and even if my family aren't that good I can count on these few precious people( Emily, Emma, Tasha, Lisa and her daughter Lois, Lainey just to mention a few from the wonderful world of CF).
The local paper's seem so interested in my little life, they are asking me what my next challenge is, to tell you the truth I haven't a clue. I do these challenges when they come up and if I'm well enough.
A neighbour of ours came the other evening to see how I was, which is strange as he only ever comes round when I've been in the paper. He asked me how things were blah blah blah, then the subject of transplant came up. I was talking about Emily and Emma and the live life then give life campaign and not about me when he suddenly said " well you'd have a transplant wouldn't you, your young and have everything to live for, you'd be stupid if you didn't" and laughed. Apart from being gob smacked at the thought of being called " stupid" I didn't want to give him an answer but then remembered what Nicky West once said and continued to answer his question. " I don't want one " I said, " WHAT" he said in quite a load voice, " why the hell not, that's just plain stupid if your given the chance to have a normal life" he carried on and on and on, well you get the picture.
My reason's are simple I told him, I don't want to die but I need more than just new lungs, i need a kidney as well and how often do news lungs come along never mind lungs and a kidney, plus I'm going blind and they can't give me new eyes as the damage is not correctable. I also have been very lucky in the fact that I'm now 35 and I'm in the lucky number of CF's that are over the age of the magic 31 ( average age to live to for CFpeople, or so they tell us, but I know there are a lot of people in their 40's) . My neighbour clearly didn't understand and we ended the talk by him saying " well if it was me" blah, blah, blah I'd stopped listening to him at this stage , which might sound rude of me but I wanted him to listen to my reply and my reason's not have a go at me for something that takes more than five seconds of thought.
Maybe when it comes to it I may change my mind again but I can't see things changing at this moment in time, we are all different and shouldn't have to explain our reason's why.
On a brighter note, I might go to York shopping tomorrow. Roger works in York and I love the city, I lived there for a while in my college days, it kind of reminds me of a small Oxford with people riding on bikes everywhere. It's a great place for shopping where as Scarborough is dull( sorry) .
Bagpuss has got over his wash, and looks beautiful and fluffy.Once I've got the hang of posting photo's on here I will post a very lovely one of me and Emily which was taken at the Hydro active in London earlier this month. Emily is not only a very bright, bubbly young lady but is very very beautiful even though she is very poorly. She has worked very hard along with Emma to get the awareness we really needed for organ donation ( www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk ) I think very highly of these two ladies as they both got up and did something wonderful.
Jasmine has been running around playing most of this morning, she hates the wind as it blows up her bum and she thinks something is after her, daft moggie!
Jasmine is at her second cat show at the end of the month, last time she won best pedigree in show for the first time, I hope she does well again this time.
Anyway, weeble feeling has gone and I feel a lot better. Anorexia is strange and I have to keep busy when the bad feelings start otherwise it's a disaster, even after 16 years I find it very difficult. Having strength in my self helps but i must be honest I have days where the impulse not to eat is very strong and I feel helpless and not in control. I don't want to go into details of it all but believe me it has got very bad at times.
Now I'm listening to the news with the sad news of " the hamster" Richard Hammond from Top gear, I hope he recover's. Why do bad things happen to good people, this is one of the things in life that I never understand.
I hope my spelling is OK, please forgive me if it isn't, but my peeper's aren't that good today.
I've had some lovely feed back from dear friends which has boosted me up no end, the power of friends keeps me going and even if my family aren't that good I can count on these few precious people( Emily, Emma, Tasha, Lisa and her daughter Lois, Lainey just to mention a few from the wonderful world of CF).
The local paper's seem so interested in my little life, they are asking me what my next challenge is, to tell you the truth I haven't a clue. I do these challenges when they come up and if I'm well enough.
A neighbour of ours came the other evening to see how I was, which is strange as he only ever comes round when I've been in the paper. He asked me how things were blah blah blah, then the subject of transplant came up. I was talking about Emily and Emma and the live life then give life campaign and not about me when he suddenly said " well you'd have a transplant wouldn't you, your young and have everything to live for, you'd be stupid if you didn't" and laughed. Apart from being gob smacked at the thought of being called " stupid" I didn't want to give him an answer but then remembered what Nicky West once said and continued to answer his question. " I don't want one " I said, " WHAT" he said in quite a load voice, " why the hell not, that's just plain stupid if your given the chance to have a normal life" he carried on and on and on, well you get the picture.
My reason's are simple I told him, I don't want to die but I need more than just new lungs, i need a kidney as well and how often do news lungs come along never mind lungs and a kidney, plus I'm going blind and they can't give me new eyes as the damage is not correctable. I also have been very lucky in the fact that I'm now 35 and I'm in the lucky number of CF's that are over the age of the magic 31 ( average age to live to for CFpeople, or so they tell us, but I know there are a lot of people in their 40's) . My neighbour clearly didn't understand and we ended the talk by him saying " well if it was me" blah, blah, blah I'd stopped listening to him at this stage , which might sound rude of me but I wanted him to listen to my reply and my reason's not have a go at me for something that takes more than five seconds of thought.
Maybe when it comes to it I may change my mind again but I can't see things changing at this moment in time, we are all different and shouldn't have to explain our reason's why.
On a brighter note, I might go to York shopping tomorrow. Roger works in York and I love the city, I lived there for a while in my college days, it kind of reminds me of a small Oxford with people riding on bikes everywhere. It's a great place for shopping where as Scarborough is dull( sorry) .
Bagpuss has got over his wash, and looks beautiful and fluffy.Once I've got the hang of posting photo's on here I will post a very lovely one of me and Emily which was taken at the Hydro active in London earlier this month. Emily is not only a very bright, bubbly young lady but is very very beautiful even though she is very poorly. She has worked very hard along with Emma to get the awareness we really needed for organ donation ( www.livelifethengivelife.co.uk ) I think very highly of these two ladies as they both got up and did something wonderful.
Jasmine has been running around playing most of this morning, she hates the wind as it blows up her bum and she thinks something is after her, daft moggie!
Jasmine is at her second cat show at the end of the month, last time she won best pedigree in show for the first time, I hope she does well again this time.
Anyway, weeble feeling has gone and I feel a lot better. Anorexia is strange and I have to keep busy when the bad feelings start otherwise it's a disaster, even after 16 years I find it very difficult. Having strength in my self helps but i must be honest I have days where the impulse not to eat is very strong and I feel helpless and not in control. I don't want to go into details of it all but believe me it has got very bad at times.
Now I'm listening to the news with the sad news of " the hamster" Richard Hammond from Top gear, I hope he recover's. Why do bad things happen to good people, this is one of the things in life that I never understand.
I hope my spelling is OK, please forgive me if it isn't, but my peeper's aren't that good today.
posted by Ali @ 4:52 AM
1 Comments:
At 8:28 AM,
Tasha.x said…
Hey lovely Ally, thanks for the mention, ur a superstar. Sorry that ur eyes are still playing up a bit, really wish they will get better. Thats good Jasmine is at another cat show good luck and i hope she wins. Thats true i have never understood why such bad things happen to good people either, the way i see it as god must know they are the strongest and will be able to deal with it better. It's a nice way to think of it but it still anoys u at times.
I was at york not long ago, ur right its a beautiful city, with all the lovely buildings and stuff. If u do go i hope u have a fab time.
Take care.
All my love & hugs
Tasha x x x
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